Dreams of Galad

Dreams of Galad

Instead of returning to her own body, Egwene floated in darkness. She seemed to be darkness herself, without substance. Whether her body lay up or down or sideways from her, she did not know - there was no direction here - but she knew that it was near, that she could step into it easily. All around her in the blackness, fireflies seemingly twinkled, a vast horde fading away into unimaginable distance. Those were dreams, dreams of the Aiel in the camp, dreams of men and women across Cairhien, across the world, all glittering there.

She could pick out some among the nearer and name the dreamer, now. In one way those sparkles were just as alike as fireflies - that was what had given her so much trouble in the beginning - but in another, somehow, they now seemed as individual as faces. 13513q1615n Rand's dreams, and Moiraine's, appeared muted, dimmed by the wards they had woven. Amys' and Bair's were bright and regular in their pulsing; they had taken their own advice, apparently. Had she not seen those, she would have been into her body in an instant. Those two could rove this darkness much more ably than she; she would not have known they were there until they pounced on her. If she ever learned to recognize Elayne and Nynaeve in the same way, she would be able to find them in that great constellation wherever they were in the world. But tonight she did not mean to observe anyone's dream.

Carefully she formed a well-remembered image in her mind, and she was back in Tel'aran'rhiod, inside the small, windowless room in the Tower where she had lived as a novice. A narrow bed was built against one white-painted wall. A washstand and a three-legged stool stood opposite the door, and the current occupant's dresses and shifts of white wool hung with a white cloak on pegs. There could as easily have been none; the Tower had not been able to fill the novices' quarters in many years. The floor was almost as pale as walls and clothes. Every day the novice who lived there would scrub that floor on hands and knees; Egwene had done so herself, and Elayne, in the next room. If a queen came to train in the Tower, she would start in a room like this, scrubbing the floor.

The garments were arranged differently when she glanced at them again, but she ignored that. Ready to embrace saidar in a heartbeat, she opened the door just enough to stick her head out. And drew a relieved breath when she found Elayne's head coming just as slowly out of the next doorway. Egwene hoped she did not appear as wide-eyed and uncertain. She motioned hurriedly, and Elayne scurried across in novice white that became a pale gray silk riding dress as she darted inside. Egwene hated gray dresses; that was what damane wore.

For an instant more she stayed there, scanning the railed galleries of the novices' quarters. Layer on layer they rose, and fell as many levels to the Novices' Court below. Not that she really expected Liandrin or worse to be out there, but it never hurt to be careful.

"I thought this was what you meant," Elayne said as she shut the door. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to remember what I can say in front of whom? Sometimes I wish we could just tell the Wise Ones everything. Let them know we are only Accepted, and be done with it."

"You would be done with it," Egwene said firmly. "I happen to be sleeping not twenty paces from them."

Elayne shivered. "That Bair. She reminds me of Lini when I'd broken something I was not supposed to touch."

"You wait until I introduce you to Sorilea." Elayne gave her a doubtful look, but then, Egwene was not sure that she would have believed Sorilea herself until she met her. There was no way to do this easily. She shifted her shawl. "Tell me about meeting Birgitte. It was Birgitte, wasn't it?"

Elayne staggered as if hit in the stomach. Her blue eyes closed for a moment, and she took a breath that must have filled her to the toes. "I cannot talk to you about that."

"What do you mean you can't talk? You have a tongue. Was it Birgitte?"

"I cannot, Egwene. You must believe me. I would if I could, but I cannot. Perhaps... I can ask..." If Elayne had been the kind of woman to wring her hands, she would have been doing it then. Her mouth opened and closed without any words coming out; her eyes darted around the room as if seeking inspiration or aid. Taking a deep breath, she fixed an urgent blue gaze on Egwene. "Anything I say violates confidences I promised to hold. Even that. Please, Egwene. You must trust me. And you must not tell anyone what you... think you saw.

Egwene forced the stern frown from her face. "I will trust you." At least she knew now for a fact that she had not been seeing things. Birgitte? Light! "I hope that one day you will trust me enough to tell me."

"I do trust you, but..." Shaking her head, Elayne sat down on the edge of the neatly made bed. "We keep secrets too often, Egwene, but sometimes there is a reason."

After a moment Egwene nodded and sat next to her. "When you can," was all she said, but her friend gave her a relieved hug.

"I told myself I was not going to ask this, Egwene. Just once I was not going to have my head full of him." The gray riding dress became a shimmering green gown; Elayne could not possibly have been aware of how deeply the neckline swooped. "But... is Rand well?"

"He is alive and unharmed, if that is what you mean. I thought he was hard in Tear, but today I heard him threaten to hang men if they go against his commands. Not that they are bad orders - he won't let anyone take food without paying, or murder people - but still. They were the first to hail him as He Who Comes With the Dawn; they followed him out of the Waste without hesitation. And he threatened them, as hard as cold steel."

"Not a threat, Egwene. He is a king, whatever you or he or anyone else says, and a king or queen must dispense justice without fear of enemies or favor for friends. Anyone who does that has to be hard. Mother can make the city walls seem soft, sometimes."

"He doesn't have to be so arrogant about it," Egwene said levelly. "Nynaeve said I should remind him he's only a man, but I've not figured out how yet."

"He does have to remember he is only a man. But he has a right to expect to be obeyed." There was something of a haughty tone to Elayne's voice, until she glanced down at herself. Then her face went crimson, and the green gown suddenly had a lace neck under her chin. "Are you sure you are not mistaking that for arrogance?" she finished in a strangled voice.

"He's as overweening as a pig in a pea field." Egwene shifted herself on the bed; she remembered it as hard, but the thin mattress felt softer than what she slept on in the tent. She did not want to talk about Rand. "Are you certain this fight will not cause more trouble?" A feud with this Latelle could not make their traveling easier.

"I do not think so. Latelle's grievance against Nynaeve was that all the unattached men were no longer hers to pick and choose from. Some women do think that way, I suppose. Aludra keeps to herself, and Cerandin wouldn't have said boo to a goose until I started teaching her to stand up for herself, and Clarine is married to Petra. But Nynaeve has made it clear that she'll box the ears of any man who even thinks he can flirt with her, and she apologized to Latelle, so I hope that may settle it."

"She apologized?"

The other woman nodded, her face as bemused as Egwene knew her own must be. "I thought she would thump Luca when he told her she must - he doesn't seem to think her injunction holds to him, by the way - but she did it, after grumping about for an hour. Muttering about you, actually." She hesitated, giving Egwene a sidelong look. "Did you say something to her at your last meeting? She has been... different since then, and sometimes she talks to herself. Argues, really. About you, from the little I've heard."

"I said nothing that did not have to be said." So it was holding, whatever it was that had happened between them. Either that, or Nynaeve was storing up her anger for the next time they met. She was not going to put up with the woman's temper anymore, not now that she knew she did not have to. "You tell her from me that she is too old to be rolling about on the ground fighting. If she gets into another, I'll have worse to say to her. You tell her that exactly. It will be worse." Let Nynaeve chew on that until next time. Either she would be mild as a lamb... Or else Egwene would just have to carry through on her threat. Nynaeve might be stronger in the Power, when she could channel, but here, Egwene was. One way or another, she was finished with Nynaeve's tantrums."I will tell her," Elayne said. "You have changed, too. There seems to be something of Rand's attitude about you."

It took Egwene a moment to realize what she meant, helped by that amused little smile. "Don't be silly."

Elayne laughed aloud and gave her another hug. "Oh, Egwene, you will be Amyrlin Seat one day, when I am Queen of Andor."

"If there is a Tower then," Egwene said soberly, and Elayne's laughter faded.

"Elaida cannot destroy the White Tower, Egwene. Whatever she does, the Tower will remain. Perhaps she will not stay Amyrlin. Once Nynaeve remembers the name of that town, I will wager that we find a Tower in exile, with every Ajah but the Red."

"I hope so." Egwene knew she sounded sad. She wanted Aes Sedai to support Rand and oppose Elaida, but that meant the White Tower broken for sure, maybe never to be made whole again.

"I must get back," Elayne said. "Nynaeve insists that whichever of us does not enter Tel'aran'rhiod remain awake, and with her headache, she needs to drink one of her herb teas and sleep. I do not know why she is so insistent. Whoever is watching can do nothing to help, and we both know enough to be perfectly safe here, now." Her green dress flickered to Birgitte's white coat and voluminous yellow trousers for an instant, then snapped back. "She said I wasn't to tell you this, but she thinks that Moghedien is trying to find us. Her and me."

Egwene did not ask the obvious question. Clearly it was something that Birgitte had told them. Why did Elayne persist in trying to keep that secret? Because she promised to. Elayne never broke a promise in her life. "You tell her to be careful." Small chance that Nynaeve was sitting and waiting, if she thought one of the Forsaken was after her. She would be remembering that she had defeated the woman once, and she had always had more courage than sense. "The Forsaken are nothing to take lightly. And neither are Seanchan, even if they are supposedly just animal trainers. You tell her that."

"I do not suppose you would listen if I told you to be careful, too."

She gave Elayne a startled look. "I am always careful. You know that."

"Of course." The last thing Egwene saw as the other woman faded away was a very amused smile.

Egwene herself did not go. If Nynaeve could not remember where that gathering of Blues was, perhaps she could discover it here. It was hardly a new idea: this was not her first trip to the Tower since her last meeting with Nynaeve. She put on a copy of Enaila's face, with flame-colored hair to her shoulders, and an Accepted's dress with its banded hem, then formed the image of Elaida's ornately furnished study.

It was as it had been before, though on every visit fewer of the vine-carved stools stood in that arc in front of the wide writing table. The paintings still hung above the fireplace. Egwene strode straight to the table, pushing aside that throne-like chair with its inlaid ivory Flame of Tar Valon, so she could reach the lacquered letterbox. Lifting the lid, all fighting hawks and clouds, she began scanning parchments as fast as she could. Even so, some melted away half-read, or changed. There was no way to tell what was important and what insignificant beforehand.

Most seemed reports of failure. Still no word of where the Lord of Bashere had taken his army, and a note of frustration and worry tingeing the words. That name tickled the back of her mind, but with no time to waste she pushed it firmly away and snatched up another sheet. No word on Rand's whereabouts, either, said a cringing report filled with near panic. That was good to know, and worth the trip by itself. More than a month had passed since the last news from Tanchico by any Ajah's eyes-and-ears, and others in Tarabon had also gone silent; the writer blamed the anarchy there; rumors that someone had taken Tanchico could not be confirmed, but the writer suggested that Rand himself was involved. Even better, if Elaida was looking in the wrong place by a thousand leagues. A confused report said that a Red sister in Caemlyn claimed to have seen Morgase at a public audience, but various Ajahs' agents in Caemlyn said the Queen had been in seclusion for days. Fighting in the Borderlands, possibly minor rebellions in Shienar and Arafel; the parchment was gone before she reached the reason. Pedron Niall calling in Whitecloaks to Amadicia, possibly to move against Altara. A good thing that Elayne and Nynaeve had only another three days there.

The next parchment was about Elayne and Nynaeve. First the writer advised against punishing the agent who had allowed them to escape - Elaida had scratched that out in bold strokes and written "Make an example!" in the margin - and then, just when the woman began to detail the search for the pair in Amadicia, the single sheet became a fistful, a sheaf of what seemed to be builders' and masons' estimates for constructing a private residence for the Amyrlin Seat on the Tower grounds. More like a palace, by the number of pages.

She let the pages fall, and they vanished before they finished scattering across the tabletop. The lacquered box was closed again. She could spend the rest of her life here, she knew; there would always be more documents in the box, and they would always be changing. The more ephemeral something was in the waking world - a letter, a piece of clothing, a bowl that might be frequently moved - the less firm its reflection in Tel'aran'rhiod. She could not remain here too long; sleep while in the World of Dreams was not as restful as sleep undisturbed.

Hurrying out to the antechamber, she was about to reach for the neat piles of scrolls and parchments, some with seals, on the Keeper's writing table, when the room seemed to flicker. Before she had time to even consider what that meant, the door opened, and Galad stepped in, smiling, his brocaded blue coat fitting his shoulders perfectly, snug breeches showing the shape of his calves.

She took a deep breath, her stomach fluttering. It just was not fair for a man to have a face so beautiful.

He stepped closer, dark eyes twinkling, and brushed her cheek with his fingers. "Will you walk with me in the Water Garden?" he said softly.

"If you two wish to canoodle," a brisk woman's voice said, "you will not do so here."

Egwene spun, wide-eyed, staring at Leane seated behind the table with the Keeper's stole on her shoulders and a fond smile on her copper-cheeked face. The door to the Amyrlin's study was open, and inside Siuan stood beside her simple, well-polished writing table, reading a long parchment, the striped stole of office on her shoulders. This was madness.

She fled without thinking of what image she was forming, and found herself gulping for breath on the Green in Emond's Field, with the thatch-roofed houses all around, and the Winespring gushing from the stone outcrop on the broad expanse of grass. Near the swift, rapidly widening stream stood her father's small inn, its lower floor stone, the overhanging upper whitewashed. "The only roof like it in the Two Rivers," Bran al'Vere had often said of his red tiles. The large stone foundation near the Winespring Inn, a huge, spreading oak rising from its center, was far older than the inn, but some said an inn of some sort had stood there beside the Winespring Water for more than two thousand years.

Fool. After warning Nynaeve so firmly about dreams in Tel'aran'rhiod, she had nearly let herself be caught in one of her own. Though it was odd that it had been Galad. She did dream of him, sometimes. Her face heated; she certainly did not love him, or even like him very much, but he was beautiful, and in those dreams he had been much more what she could have wished him. It was his brother Gawyn that she dreamed of more often, but that was just as silly. Whatever Elayne said, he had never made any feelings known to her.

It was that fool book, with all those tales of lovers. As soon as she woke in the morning she was going to give the thing back to Aviendha. And tell her that she did not think that she read it for the adventures at all.

She was reluctant to leave, though. Home. Emond's Field. The last place that she had really felt safe. More than a year and a half had passed since she last saw it, yet everything seemed as she remembered. Not quite everything. On the Green stood two tall poles with large banners, one a red eagle, the other an equally red wolf's head.

Had Perrin anything to do with those? She could not imagine how. Yet he had come home, so Rand said, and she had dreamed of him with wolves more than once.

Enough idle standing about. It was time to -

Flicker.

Her mother stepped out of the inn, graying braid pulled over one shoulder. Mann al'Vere was a slim woman, still handsome, and the best cook in the Two Rivers. Egwene could hear her father laughing inside the common room, where he was meeting with the rest of the Village Council.

"Are you still out here, child?" her mother said, gently chiding and amused. "You've certainly been married long enough to know you shouldn't let your husband know you mope about waiting on him." With a shake of her head, she laughed. "Too late. Here he comes."

Egwene turned eagerly, eyes darting past the children playing on the Green. The timbers of the low Wagon Bridge thrummed as Gawyn galloped across and swung down from his saddle in front of her. Tall and straight in his gold-embroidered red coat, he had his sister's red-gold curls, and marvelous deep blue eyes. He was not so handsome as his half-brother, of course, but her heart beat faster for him than it had for Galad - For Galad? What? - and she had to press her hands to her stomach in a vain attempt to still gigantic butterflies.

"Did you miss me?" he said, smiling.

"A little." Why did I think of Galad? As if I'd just seen him a moment ago. "Now and then, when there was nothing interesting to occupy my time. Did you miss me?"

For answer, he pulled her off her feet and kissed her. She was not aware of very much else until he set her back down on unsteady legs. The banners were gone. What banners?

"Here he is," her mother said, approaching with a babe wrapped in swaddling. "Here's your son. He is a fine boy. He never cries at all."

Gawyn laughed as he took the child, held him aloft. "He does have your eyes, Egwene. He will be a fine one with the girls one day."

Egwene backed away from them, shaking her head. There had been banners, red eagle and red wolf's head. She had seen Galad. In the Tower. "N0000000!"

She fled, leaping from Tel'aran'rhiod to her own body. Awareness remained only long enough for her to wonder how she could possibly have been fool enough to let her own fancies nearly trap her, and then she was deep in her own safe dream. Gawyn galloped across the Wagon Bridge, swinging down...

Stepping out from behind a thatch-roofed house, Moghedien wondered idly where this little village was. Not the sort of place she would expect to see banners flying. The girl had been stronger than she had thought, to escape her weaving of Tel'aran'rhiod. Even Lanfear could not improve on her abilities here, whatever she claimed. Still, the girl had just been of interest because she was speaking to Elayne Trakand, who might lead her to Nynaeve al'Meara. The only reason to trap her had simply been to rid Tel'aran'rhiod of one who could walk it freely. It was bad enough that she must share it with Lanfear.

But Nynaeve al'Meara. That woman she meant to make beg to be bound in her service. She would take her in the flesh, perhaps ask the Great Lord to grant her immortality, so Nynaeve could have forever to regret opposing Moghedien. She and Elayne were scheming with Birgitte, were they? That was another she had reason to punish. Birgitte had not even known who Moghedien was, so long ago, in the Age of Legends, when she foiled Moghedien's finely wrought plan to lay Lews Therin by his heels. But Moghedien had known her. Only, Birgitte - Teadra, she had been then - had died before she could deal with her. Death was no punishment, no end, not when it meant living on here.

Nynaeve al'Meara, Elayne Trakand, and Birgitte. Those three she would find, and deal with. From the shadows, so that they would not know until too late. All three, without exception.

She vanished, and the banners waved on in the breeze of Tel'aran'rhiod.