Extraneous Crap

A. Glitches
B. Easter Eggs
C. Criminal Rankings, etc.
D. Flight Rankings

Note: I cannot fix glitches. These are just ways to do them or perhaps says to avoid them. Glitches sent in must be something I can recreate, not a random happening that you can't do yourself more than once. I check every glitch before it is added to avoid problems.

A. Glitches (555XIIIa
HOLY CRAP EXTRA TERRITORIES GALORE -- This was discovered on a few GTA forums and has been perfected by tons of people. It was originally discovered by accident, but it works consistently now.

Take a boat or plane and head the southwest or southeast corner of the map. Tape the X button down and keep going for as long as you want. Thirty minutes is usually sufficient. Drown yourself or head back if you want. When you respawn, you should have territories in the Badlands, SF, the Desert, and one HUGE territory in LV. All these territories are able to be taken over if you can find the gang members, and are taken in one wave. The problem with this is that having GSF members everywhere means that everyone has a GSF car...which aren't fun to drive at all.

Beagle Boom by Neil H. -- Plane glitch: In Fort Carson there's building with a dirt lot next to it and two American flags hanging from it, near the east junction by the 'U' shaped road in the southeast of the town. For some reason, a Beagle plane occasionally spawns 15415n1311p in the yard; if you look at it, the left wing is wedged inside the building's porch and the right is between a palm tree and a telegraph pole. It you get in, it explodes almost the minute you turn the engines on and there's nowhere for it to take off anyway. My guess is a different vehicle was supposed to spawn there. The plane doesn't spawn a fair bit of the time, it's there about as often as the Cropduster north of the Quarry is.

Bike Fun by Zeiram W. -- Take a BMX/Mountain Bike (the Bike doesn't seem to work) and hit square, then while holding square down, very rapidly tap X and voila, CJ will do something very weird, he will strech underground and if you release square (and from now on just hold X down) you'll notice a bit of ragdoll physics, but not for long.

Blue Hell Strikes Back from hfetus -- Yes, blue hell is back again! It's harder to do this though than in the previous games. Usually, you need to fool around near steep slopes (like those in the dried up dam areas), jumping around to trigger it. It can occur in other places, though. For example, I was once running from the cops in Los Santos with a 2-star wanted level, and I was fleeing back to my house to save and dump it. I tried turning a corner hard in order to mess up the chasing cars. Well, I ended up going through the wall on my right! As always, you fall through a blue void into nothingness and eventually respawn on the map.

Bulletproof/Otherproof Vehicles by MrHurucles -- The two Tahomas in the first part of House Party are flameproof and bulletproof. Cesar's car in High Stakes, Lowrider is everythingproof. The forklift in Robbing Uncle Sam is bulletproof. More coming.

Driving School Glitch by Zack Scott -- This glitch works by going to the Driving School in San Fierro during the time that the girlfriend who likes fat people is in there (I think morning time). Once you've verified that she's there, pay attention to who's she's chatting with. Next, go out the back door and quickly jump onto the roof. Go towards the front of the building and then face the back. In a few moments, the person that she was talking to will fall from the sky and splat on the roof! This scared the crap out of me the first time it happened, and I initially thought it was generated by random chance, but it works every time the girlfriend is in there chatting with someone.

Ghost Car Glitch by Stan Gunn -- As a result of damage from numerous crashes, my car blew up as I crossed the finish line in the "Wu Zi Mu" mission race. The screen went black and the drive made loading noises for what seemed like minutes. When it finally loaded, I was alive and the game indicated that I had completed the mission but there was no car to be seen. Instead, there was a bit of empty air with steam rising from it -- much like you'd see coming out of the hood of a moderately damaged vehicle. I tried to enter the invisible vehicle but there was nothing to enter. Then I armed my baseball bat and started swinging at the air. When I hit a certain spot (that seemed to move) I could hear the sound of metal being bashed. After a few seconds of this a broken windshield dropped out of the air. Firing into the empty space with a gun had no effect and I was never able to do enough damage to cause any other effects.

There are other instances of ghost cars in the Badlands, such as a car that can drive through trees with tons of damage, and if you steal it, you cannot repair it. This is the closest to paranormal you'll find in SA.

Gang Fun by hamradio -- Get any number of gang members up to the amount you can (Tested with 1 and 3, so I am assuming any number that you can), and get them to follow you to a safe house. Go inside the safe house then press up to tell them to follow you. Now move over to the save thing and hit cancel when it pops up. Now, you should see them in your safe house but frozen and you can walk through them and they still talk to you.

General Store by knacklethrasher -- Turn into the parking lot of a general store in Las Venturas and your front wheels go into the ground. To do this, you need to drive towards the door of the general store, and it happens where the sidewalk meets the parking lot.

Girls Suck -- It's common knowledge that many girlfriends aren't home for some reasons. Try saving, loading, etc, or change your outfit and possibly body style. Maybe try going fat for a while. Sometimes, the most fickle of things can fix the glitch.

Gym Glitch -- The infamous gym glitch is simply that it says that you cannot work out, even though you haven't done any work that day. There are a few fixes. The first is to save the game into an unused slot, load that, save it to slot 1, and then reload slot 1. The trick I used was to remove all clothes on CJ and try working out. When that failed, I put his clothes back on, and I could work out again.

Headless CJ -- This has been submitted by quite a few people. In two-player mode, cut off CJ's head with a Katana, then kill player two to return to single player. CJ will still have no head until you load a save or get wasted/busted.

Mad Madd Dogg -- In the mission, Madd Dogg, he jumps with no warning and you have no time to catch him. There is no known fix for this.

Mega Hops -- On a bike, hold L1 for a bunnyhop. Right as you release, hit circle to go sky high. It takes some pratice, but it's awesome.

ReverendTed's Missile Glitch -- All missiles fly backwards in this game. Kind of a weird thing to notice.

The Bus Error Returns...Again by Glitch Master -- Continued from the previous two games (GTA3 and Vice City) the Bus is still treated as an emergency vehicle when taken to a Pay 'N' Spray. When you attempt to spray a Bus, for some reason the game apparently thinks it's an emergency vehicle, and the message says: "Whoa, I'm not touching anything that hot!" or something like that. This is the same message seen when you attempt to spray military/police vehicles, ambulances, and fire trucks. Obviously, a Bus shouldn't classify as a vehicle of this nature. This does not happen when you try to spray a Coach.

This Song Sucks by Shigmiya64 -- You can skip songs on the radio. Change to another station, then change back to the station playing the song you hate. As soon as the text at the top of the screen saying the name of the station turns yellow, before the station starts to play, change the station again. Change back to the original station, and it will have skipped whatever song it was playing.

Walking Under Water by many people -- In a 2-player free roam, get in a Sea Sparrow or Skimmer. When the second player tries to get in, he will be stuck under water, but will have no breath meter and can walk around.

Where My Tags at? -- If you start spraying a tag and run out of paint after being like 90% done with it, you cannot get credit for it. Ever. Ouch.

Unlimited Ammo by multiple people -- Start the Ammunation Challenge and then leave, and it should add 100-1000 ammo for all weapons besides the heavy weapons (RPGs, miniguns, etc). Getting your ammo over 9999 locks it at that amount and it won't go down.

Have a glitch? Send it in with GLITCH in the topic header. If your e-mail does not have GLITCH in the title, and you want to submit one, it will be disregarded and you can try again.


B. Easter Eggs (555XIIIb
Before You Die by Jordan -- In Idlewood, near the two-player freeroam icon is, go behind it and take a right, and you'll see a fenced in area with the well in the movie The Ring.

Best Egg Ever by Ryan Lewis -- In San Fierro south of the Gant Bridge, there is a resturant, and west of it there is a sign that says:

BRIDGE FACTS
Length - 150.7 m
Height - 60.3 m above sea level
16000 polygons Inc LOOs
600 m draw distance
11 textures
Takes up a staggering 1.27 MB of disk space

I've seen it before, but I was waiting for someone to submit it again. It's truly the best egg in any of the GTA games.

Bigfoot/Leatherface -- Wait, these don't exist. Stop asking me about them. No seriously, they do not ****ing exist. I know the guy that made the first Bigfoot photoshop.

Bodies in the Sand by Bob Mujis -- Just a little North of the NO FLY ZONE, at the road entrance near some rocks, you can find a hole with six bodies inside. You can find pictures of the map and the bodies at
https://faq.gtasanandreas.nl/index.php?spage=eggs/tpk.htm

Broken Bridge by Max S. -- The bridge above Grove Street has broken railing because of the cutscene that happens at the end of the game.

Buffy the Gangsta Slayer -- If you look in the Crypt in the Los Santos Graveyard (Where CJ's mother is buried), you'll see a TV, Laz-e-Boy and pizza boxes--a reference to Spike in Buffy The Vampire Slayer, who has a similar setup.

Burnin' Alive by Matt James -- Go into the Well Stacked Pizza nearest to your first hideout in Los Santos and go through the steel door to the left, and then through the one to your right. Whip out a sniper rifle and look closely at the red fire blanket holders on the wall opposite the cashiers. One picture is normal, of a woman putting the blanket on a fiery oven, but the second is a dead body rolled up in the blanket.

Don't Jump by Barry McWilliams -- Near the Vank Hoff Hotel, there's a small sign that says NO BASE JUMPING. BASE jumping is freefalling off a very tall building with a parachute, which is ironic, since there's an entrance to the top of the hotel to jump off of.

Fast Food Fun by Woo' Tang Clan -- Go to any food restaraunt and start killing people. Run behind the counter and give them time to respawn. When they come back, kill them again. As you rack up wanted levels, the customers will respawn as cops that can't attack you. Kill them for as long as you want -- they'll never fight back. This is an excellent way to raise your criminal ranking.

Gant Surprise -- At the top of the Gant bridge is a sign that says, there are no Easter Eggs up here. Go away. Submitted by many people.

Girls from the Past by Sean M. -- If you date Barbara the cop or Katie the nurse, and restart the game, the game will act as if you are dating them. This is an awesome glitch, but I am unsure of the reprecussions.

Glory Hole by Glitch Master -- Yes, there is a hole in the game, unless my disc is defective in this area. I'm actually surprised that nobody else has found this yet, and that might actually be the case. Anyway...

In Los Santos, on the right edge of the district East Los Santos, one block to the left (parallel street to the left) of the last street within that district on the map you will find the hole. At the top right corner of this street there is a hole in a wall and a single non-solid plane for a sort of floor. There are no polygons for walls or ceiling, and again, the "floor" is not solid. This is right out in the open, right off the edge of the street, and was probably intended to be a sort of cut out building entrance. If you walk into it, you will fall into the abyss below, and, of course, reappear on the street moments later. I entered this area with a Jetpack, and explored a bit under that part of the city. Right near the "hole", there is a floating arrow indicating an entrance to some building. This is under the solid ground, floating in nothingness, and is in no way accessible. I imagine that they were in such haste to release the game that they forgot to finish this small area. It probably was a hole in a building that gave access to a hallway that led to a door where this entrance would have been. (East Los Santos is the top right corner of the Ballas' purple territory, where it meets a yellow territory, if you haven't influenced these yet.) There is no indication of any sort of shop or misc. building anywhere on either the game or illustrated maps, though there is a restaurant not far from it. I hope my directions aren't too confusing... It'd be easier to make a map. I'll probably do that in the future if this is consistent in every game.

This is the hole that you crash into during the mission "End of the Line".

Happy Days by vinweasel -- Get a ZR-350 or a police car (these are the only ones I know that it works on), and do a burnout, but instead of doing a 360, go left to right a few times then reverse and look at your creation. It will be a smilie face instead of a donut.

Hidden Package in SA by Ricky B. -- In Los Santos, East Los Santos, there is a hidden package tiki thing as an advertisement thing on a store. It's huge. It is on a store selling tiki things. Starting from your home in Ganton and start going down the only road you can go down. Make a right at the first road you can turn off on. Go down the street and as you go down it's like the third or so store on the right, so if I'm wrong then just look to your right the whole time and you should see it.

Manhunting by Denny L. -- If you go into the bar in Grove Street and look at the paintings on the wall, you'll see a message that says "BOBO" and an armed soldier is standing there with a gun in his hand. This soldier just so happens to be the armed guards on Manhunt's later levels, they are called "Cerberus". In fact, once you unlock the extra concept art for Cerberus, which is the identical picture used for the concept art (missing the lower body of course). I thought this was pretty neat.

More Gant Fun by Adam Musa -- There's a diner below the start of the bridge in San Fierro that has "An Acutal Piece of the Cable" featured as a tourist attraction. On the sign is says
Ooooooooh amazing...
Isn't it fantastic?
No, it's just simple physics.
I don't know why we're making such a fuss.

Rockstar Loves the Racing by Taldi -- Most NRG-500s have the number 46 as their racing number, an homage to Valentino Rossi, one of the greatest Moto GP racers ever.

Rock On by Xeigrich -- There's a rock north of Palomino Creek entitled Northstar Rock. Harhar.

Sex Shop by Derek S. -- There are alot of funny things in the sex shop you can enter. There is a dildo mounted on a chainsaw. Also, some of the books in there have funny titles. Like "Jenny and Sara, Lesbo Adventure."

Sex Shop II by vinweasel -- In the Sex Shop, there is a sign on the door that reads something like "To remain in the arcade, you must be in the booth, doors locked, films running, lights off, wanking, otherwise you must leave." The bad grammar is in the sign.

The Sky Is Falling by Maikeru -- Near Zero's RC, I saw this odd guy wearing a small box on his head (kind of helmet style) and another piece of cardboard taped to his chest. Anyway, I used my camera to get a better look at him. He's some sort of homeless person, but the box on his head had the words "Keep Out" written on it and piece of cardboard taped to his chest reads "God is playing with us!" Which, if you think about it means the programmers and the game players as they control the world and the people in it.

Tractor Tow by many -- Drive a tractor to a Combine Harvester, kill the driver, and use the right analog stick to tow the Harvester. The faster you go while towing, the faster you go. You can also do a hard turn while going at this speed and you'll go flying off to a side.

True Crime Sucked -- At the train tunnel near Unity Station, among other places, there's an ad for a company called 'True Grime', with a tagline about getting rid of 'old rubbish'. Thanks to Phil Gerrard.

Use a Real Phone for These by Joe Dawson -- The following fax numbers will send you something back if you call them.

1-866-FUN-CULT -- The Epsilon Tract
1-866-FACE-FEAR -- Inversion Therapy

Vanity Plates by Afroholic -- Many thanks for all of these.

Mission Plates:
Sweet's Greenwood: GROVE4L
Ryder's Picador: SHERM
Jizzy's Broadway: HO 2 HO
Truth's Mothership: EREHTTUO
Car in Badlands Mission: ASSMAN
Pulaski's Buffalo on High Noon mission: PULASKI
Car in Yay Ka-Boom-Boom mission: TIME BOMB
Cesar's Car: LUVA4L
Toreno's Car: OMEGA
Windsor on Home on the Hills mission: J LOMAX

Girlfriends:
Denise's Hustler: HOMEGIRL
Millie's Car: SPANK
Katie's Car: TRAUMA
Barbara's Car: CUFFS
Michelle's Car: NOS

Imports:
Feltzer: DR DR F
Comet: LOLLY
Jester: GRO1N or G3P0
Infernus: J L335
Rancher: S4LEI JON

Other:
Bullet in SF Burgershot: CHUNKY
Banshee beside San Fierro Gym: BDP
Hotknife at Driving School: GOLD

Vice City Maps also by Afroholic -- Go to Angel Pine and find the Clucking Bell. Right across the street are three trash cans. Knock them over to find a bunch of maps of Vice City.

What's On Your Tombstone? by C. Conliffe -- All of the gravestones in San Andreas read "OPPOSITION, 1997-2004. RIP."

Wish Upon a Star by Louis VI -- Look at the sky on a clear night and you should be able to see a Rockstar logo with a big star where the star in the logo is.

Zero's Shop -- There are many Manhunt and GTA figurines in Zero's RC shop, and Zachary S says that you can even see the Vice City game box in there.

Zombies! Oh no! by Darrel Park -- San Fierro Downtown, inside the Genetic Research building there are signs over the elevators with "FLOORS 1 TO 6 ONLY" and such, but the middle one says "ZOMBIE LAB ONLY."

Have an easter egg? Send it in with EASTER EGG in the topic header. If your e-mail does not have EASTER EGG in the title, and you want to submit one, it will be disregarded and you can try again.

C. Criminal Rankings, etc. (555XIIIc
I will love you forever if you can get me a listing of all the titles for criminal rankings, or, even better, if you can get numbers to go along with them. A lot of people liked this in my Vice FAQ, and I'd love to have it done here.

-10000 - -6000 = Crackhead
-5999 - -4000 = Bitch-made
-3999 - -2000 = Off-Brand
-1999 - -500 = Scandalous
-499 - -1 = Player-hater
0 - 19 = Vic
20 - 49 = Square
50 - 74 = Civilian
75 - 99 = Rat
100 - 119 = Snitch
120 - 149 = Dry Snitch
150 - 199 = Transformer
200 - 239 = Punk-ass Bitch
240 - 269 = Sucka
270 - 299 = Poot Butt
300 - 329 = Buster
330 - 369 = Mark
370 - 399 = Chump
400 - 449 = Trick
450 - 499 = Red-headed Stepchild
500 - 549 = Peon
550 - 599 = Pee-Wee
600 - 609 = Prankster
610 - 649 = Fool
650 - 699 = Street Cat
700 - 849 = Thug
850 - 999 = Hustler
1000 - 1049 = Playa Partner
1150 - 1299 = Mack
1300 - 1499 = Pimp
1500 - 1699 = Crime Partner
1700 - 1999 = Homeboy
2000 - 2099 = Homie
2100 - 2299 = Road Dawg
2300 - 2499 = Hoodsta
2500 - 2749 = Hard-ass
2750 - 2999 = Banger
3000 - 3499 = Lil' G
3500 - 3999 = Loc
4000 - 4999 = Jacker
5000 - 7499 = Shooter
7500 - 9999 = Foot Soldier
10000 - 19999 = Hoo-Rider
20000 - 29999 = Soldier
30000 - 39999 = Hawg
40000 - 49999 = Gangsta
50000 - 69999 = Ghetto Star
60000 - 79999 = Monster
80000 - 99999 = Big Homie
100000 - 149999 = Boss Hawg
150000 - 199999 = Shot Caller
200000 - 299999 = OG
300000 - 399999 = High Roller
400000 - 499999 = Four-Star
500000 - 749999 = General
750000 - 999999 = Godfather
1000000 = King of San Andreas

Thanks to The Great Onion Kid and GTADomain for these rankings. Thanks to blaze888888 and diego siles for the complete listing, and thanks to many others for small corrections. If I mistyped something, let me know, but it looks pretty good to me.

How to boost a criminal ranking (these are generalizations, and are not always going to happen exactly as I have it:
$5000 = 1 Point
Killing a civilian = 1 Point
Completing a mission = 5 Points
Blowing up a vehicle = 5 Points
Blowing up a helicopter or plane = 30 Points
Getting Busted/Wasted = -3 Points
Using a cheat = -10 Points

Thus, the best way to boost your criminal ranking is to shove a bunch of planes in the hangar at Verdant Meadows and blow them all up, then close the hangar and repeat.

Also, a big "shame on you" for those that submitted the info saying that they wrote all the listings down themselves and gave me the exact same list as what GTADomain has up. That's lame guys.


D. Flight Rankings (555XIIId)

0:00 - 0:05 = No Ranking
0:05 - 0:10 = Flyboy
0:10 - 0:20 = Aircraftman
0:20 - 0:30 = Pilot Officer
0:30 - 1:00 = Corporal
1:00 - 1:30 = Lieutenant
1:30 - 2:00 = Sergeant
2:00 - 2:30 = Captain
2:30 - 3:00 = Biggs
3:00 - 3:30 = Wedge
3:30 - 4:00 = Red Baron
4:00 - 4:30 = Goose
4:30 - 5:00 = Viper
5:00 - 6:00 = Jester
6:00 - 7:00 = Chappy
7:00 - 8:00 = Iceman
8:00 - 9:00 = Maverick
9:00 - 10:00 = Noops
10:00 - 20:00 = Air Chief Marshal
20:00 - 30:00 = Ace

Captain does NOT come after Ace. If Captain came after Ace for you, then you should also get Biggs later. It takes a LOT of flying to get Ace.

Again, thanks to GTADomain. Many thanks to Nick Taylor for all of the numbers for these. I'll send the hooker over on Friday. And yes, most of the names are from the movie Top Gun, including Biggs and Wedge. Yes, that's right videogeeks, they are't originally from Final Fantasy, but rather from an old Tom Cruise movie.

Edit: Actually, they're from an even older movie that you should all know, Star Wars. They were Red Two and Red Three. Thanks to all the people that submitted this and made me feel like a twit :(.

There's a glitch where you get Ace before you're supposed to. Just know that you need to have flown a LOT before you get to Ace. If you go Ace then say, Captain, you just had a glitch. Sorry doods.