Lula 3D
Walkthrough
How To Play
Lula 3D uses keyboard and mouse, which is a strange hybrid for a 3D adventure/platformer, but not really if you play some PC first-person shooters. Unfortunately, Lula 3D is not an FPS and on occasion adopts the cinematic styling of pre-Atari Infogrames' Alone in the Dark. Keyboard moves Lula (i.e., Miss Inflatable) forwards while the mouse lets her interact with different elements as well as turn. The game comes with a quick sheet on the movement, as do the customizable controls in the game. Learn to read those first, or if you decide to ask simalcrum, he may decide that you are too sick to pass on your genes. He may then simply find you and execute you for the
crime of genetic inferiority.
First, Second, and Third ... Person (Not Bases) Lula 3D plays in first-person or third-person ('balloon') view. Although first person is better in many ways (there is no body awareness if you notice) and reduces choppiness in some rooms, third person is always used when Princess
Air-Everything (head, bags, ass) interacts with events, persons, and objects. This can get annoying, but should serve as a warning.
Move Zig Lula should be kept on constant run. If you don't, you're as retarded as the
message board you found this on. You also have the same sexual preference as
the gift shop owner in this game.
Objectives of Desire Press the (default) TAB key for a list of orders Lula is required to fulfill. Cleared orders are checkmarked but focus on the uncompleted orders to pass the
game.
Copping A Feel (Interaction) By default, double clicking the LMB (left 'maus' button) operates/takes objects and talks to persons. You may want to reduce this to a single click instead. Only one object or spot may be interacted with by one inventory item; note that having an item equipped will change the interaction menu with people, objects, or points of interest. The dog for example, cannot be used properly if Lula has anything equipped.
Women Have More Hiding Places Than Men ...By default, the RMB (right 'maus' button) opens and closes the inventory menu. Unlike King's Quest VI, this inventory menu can only be described as atrocious, but serviceable. Play with the controls' options to make the game suit you -- not the other way around (i.e., a console game).
Game Logistics Save. Save often. Back up every save with an occasional temporary save. The ESCAPE key is the in-alienable bind for this very useful menu which also covers loading and deleting saves, as well as other game options. A thumbnail of your screen will be shown beside each save. There is no limit to the saves you can maintain, but for the most part, you only need one save per area, with two more quick saves in that area to cover Lula's delicious ass from being
game-raped by buggy software.
Walkthrough
Area 1 -
Game Goals
* Investigate the triplet's room
* Investigate the security tapes
* Call the
photographer
* Confer with porn producer Brian
* Leave for
Investigate the triplet's room
Speak with Brian (not the dog -- although it would be cool if Samuel L Jackson was in every porn movie ever made ...) and carry forth all the conversation topics thoroughly to "end" them. Brian will mention something about the triplets being tardy for the next sex scene. If you want to explore, you can do so after talking to Brian. There are a few things to take both in the house and on the grounds nearby, although most of them are not mandatory for finishing the game.
If you want to progress with the game in earnest though, simply head up to the second floor and enter the triplets' room. Inside, take the crucial items "matchbook" and "Fred's Key". All the other items inside are optional. Attempt to head back downstairs and a cut-scene will occur about the security cameras.
Investigate the security tapes
Fred's security booth is locked, but "Fred's key" may be equipped to unlock the door when the Open Door command is given. There are some extraneous red herring items on the side of the shack; the crucial items inside the security booth are "video cable" and the two "surveillance tapes". Equip the "video cable", use the recorder in the booth and then do the same for both "surveillance tapes". This will open up new dialogue with the otherwise useless Brian.
Call the photographer Spandau
Speak with Brian
having accomplished the two previous goals and he will have a dialogue option to
give you
Confer with porn producer Brian
After calling
Leave for
Speak with Brian about the whereabouts of the "car keys". Speak with the other performers by the pool (two female, one male, one couple). They will point you to the next performer. While in the poolside, take the crucial item "mobile phone" from the table near the sun-bathing performer. The performers outside refer you to the lesbian couple in the mansion's first floor bathroom. Speak with the lesbian couple and be directed back to Brian. Speaking with him now will earn you the "car keys". Equip them and use them on the Chevy in Lula's car park to leave this area.
Crucial Quest Items
Matchbook in the triplets' room
Fred's Key in the triplets' room
Mobile Phone on a table by the poolside
Video Cable inside Fred's security booth
Surveillance Tape 1 inside Fred's security booth
Surveillance Tape 2 inside Fred's security booth
Juice issue #2 on the coffee table
Chevy's Keys from Brian after successful conversation
Area 2 -
Game Goals
* Locate
* Get
* Get Hamett his drink
* Investigate the studio
* Find a way into the Wild Chicken Club
Locate
Find the Wild Chicken Club and head down the alley where a black van is haphazardly parked. Open the back door of the black van and take the crucial item "earring". Follow the alleyway and speak fully with the dim-witted bouncer Hank. Exhaust all the conversation topics and move on to the bum wino homeless person Skunk.
Despite Skunk's
appearance, speak with him repeatedly until he divulges information concering his ex-wife Lorna. Once Skunk reveals his
problems with the ex-wife Lorna, the door to
Extra tasks
Visit the pornographic shop right next to Lula's Chevy. Inside, you find the crucial item "mobile phone battery". If you somehow missed the crucial item "mobile phone" in the previous level, there is a second "mobile phone" in the next area.
Get the studio key and Hamett's drink
These two goals are very tied together since Hamett has the studio key. Hamett is the drunk in the apartment's third floor. Go into this studio and take anything that isn't nailed down. The crucial items you can take now are "empty bottle" from the kitchen table, the "tomatoes" inside the refrigerator, the "Lorna's photo" inside the apartment, and the "black wig" (you may need to follow the 'Wild Chicken Club' goal to have the option to take this item).
After speaking
with Hamett and figuring out he is a lousy drunk,
head back downstairs and take "Lorna's photograph" to Skunk. Trade
that item for the crucial item "licorice
bag" and head back onto
There is a liquor store on the corner nearby ... if you take the time to explore, you can find it easily! Open the door and speak with the owner about alcohol and absinthe (illegal). He has a customer (Hamett) who enjoys the potency of the stuff. Equip the "empty bottle" found in Hamett's studio and use it on the owner. Offer to show him the "licorice bag" and he will create a bottle of absinthe on the counter. Take the crucial item "bottle of absinthe" and head back to Hamett.
Use the "bottle of absinthe" on Hamett,
wheel through the chatter and take the "
Investigate
The cats inside the studio won't morph into magically-infused warriors who like eating your heart, but they can be annoying. Offer to pet one of the cats in the studio and they all scramble. Go into the kitchen and investigate the cabinet for a crucial item "cat food". Equip it and use it on a feeding bowl after looking at the bowl (for a follow-up choice). Take the crucial item "cabinet key" from the cat eating.
Investigate the two very outstanding cabinet lockers near the studio entrance. The left locker has crucial items "V-Cam Battery" and "Schreiber's Letter". The right locker cabinet may only be unlocked using the "cabinet key". Use the "V-Cam battery" on the V-cam inside the right cabinet, then take the crucial item "surveillance tape" and use that on the V-Cam. At this point, if you have the "mobile phone" and "mobile phone battery", you will get a call from Brian. Not having them may cause you to miss out on some dialogue, or have it shifted later in the game.
Find a way into the Wild Chicken Club
Assuming you spoke fully with the dim-witted bouncer Hank, you realise that there may be no way to enter the Wild Chicken Club. Speak with the ticket booth person Aunt Ki-Ki and learn more about the club. While there, speak fully with the Marilyn impersonator and Sarah across the street. The other working girls are street girls and do not figure into the story progression. Naturally, you may want to spare time to have some fun on the side. Just don't invest too much.
Speak fully with Sarah and Marilyn -- if you found the "earring", equip it and show it to them after speaking to them both without the item. This will convince them they should help. Get the the chat topic of talking at the coffeeshop and head there. If you cannot locate Phillip's Coffeeshop, it is
the store at the top of the hill.
In the coffeeshop, order coffee from the owner, then speak with Sarah and Marilyn. Successful conversation nets Lula Of The Twin Puffballs the crucial item "Club Worker ID". There is also a crucial item "bottle of hot sauce" in the coffee shop once Sarah and Marilyn are seated. If you miss out on this item, there is another one in the next area.
If you haven't done so, make Lula a brunette by visiting Hamett's studio and taking the crucial item "black wig". This item is automatically used. Armed with the "club worker's ID" and "black wig", enter the Wild Chicken Club through the back door. Before doing so, you may want to save the game, since you are entering a new area.
Crucial Quest Items
Black Wig in Hamett's studio (auto-use)
Tomatoes in Hamett's studio refrigerator
Empty Absinthe Bottle from Hamett's studio
Lorna's Photograph from Hamett's studio
Licorice Bag from Skunk the homeless man
Cat Food in
Cabinet Key from a cat in
V-Cam Battery in
Schreiber Letter in
Surveillance Tape in
Mobile Phone
Bottle of Hot Sauce in the coffeeshop
Earring from the back of the black van
Club Worker ID from Sarah (successful conversation)
Area 3 - San Francisco Club
Game Goals
* Substitute for Sarah
* Go upstairs
* Locate the club boss' office
* Get Schreiber's address
* Leave the club
Sub for Sarah and go upstairs
This ties together since they are inter-linked goals. Head upstairs first and speak with the real bouncer Davis. He will deny access, meaning you have to find a way to get him downstairs. All the talk will not make him move from his post, but you can see the dialogue change if you persist. Head onto the club floor and take the crucial items "empty glass" and "bottle of hot sauce" if you have not already. You should also save the game here (or as soon as you enter the club), since
there is a game stopping bug.
Speaking with the sex workers and patrons here is only small talk. The goal now is to distract the bouncer upstairs and lure him downstairs. Having Lula rip her clothes off for your benefit doesn't advance the game. Instead, use the "bottle of hot sauce" on the cup of grog near the bartender (after looking at both bartender and the grog). This makes the bartender leave for a little while. With the bartender gone, slip behind the counter and place the tea-warmer into the sink. Wait for the bartender to come back and resume his post. Once this NPC is back, you can save the game if you like (the bug is more or less over).
Hand the "empty glass" to the bartender and tell him to wash it in the sink. This causes a series of events that calls down the bouncer from upstairs, giving Lula -- that nympho silicone minx -- access to the upstairs rooms.
Extra tasks
If Lula was as air-headed as her chest, you may have missed the "mobile phone" from the first area. There is a second "mobile phone" inside the bathroom on this level. Take it and leave the door open, since it will let Lula escape enemies.
Locate the boss' office and get Schreiber's address All the story-motivated doors here are locked until some events
happen. Examine the time card on the table, but that is not necessary for now. Instead,
stay alive by preparing for the future. Open the door to the upstairs bathroom
so Lula can quickly run inside from the hallway. Once this is done, you can
save (if you are paranoid) and attempt to open the Club Boss' Room. Unlike the
Club Voxx in
With all the badguys away from the upstairs, go into the club boss' room and take the crucial item "Schreiber's address" from the rolodex. If the "mobile phone" and "mobile phone battery" were found, Lula will confer with Brian. The problem now is leaving the club alive (and un-raped).
Leave the club
Investigate the bitch statue at the top of the stairs for the crucial item "S&M room key". Use this item on the locked door upstairs to enter the S&M dungeon. If you had Lula read the time card on the table outside on the landing beforehand, you can speak to the dominatrix and get her to leave by
the time card topic. Otherwise, nothing goes your way until the time card is read.
Once the dominatrix leaves, speak to the shackled politician until he asks for punishment. That done, take the crucial item "frying pan" and use it on the politician. This puts him out so you can take the cruicial item "handcuffs". Simply use the "handcuffs" on the bouncer downstairs and you will clear this area.
Crucial Quest Items
Empty Glass on the club floor
Bottle of Hot Sauce on the club floor
Mobile Phone (second one) in the upstairs bathroom
Schreiber's Address in the boss' room
Frying Pan in the S&M chamber
Handcuffs in the S&M chamber
Area 4 - Interstate '06
Game Goals
* Get some coffee
* Sabotage the black van
* Leaving for
Get some coffee
Jade Champion could've been a lesbian, if she wanted to be. Go to the gasoline station and get some coffee from the loser running shop. After talking for a while, offer to "show breasts". If simalcrum were in the attendent's place, he would have closed early for some relaxation. Instead the attendent flees and drops a crucial item "knife". This reinforces the addendum view of simalcrum that not only is everyone online is dumb (except for simalcrum), but so is everyone who drives on the road beside him, as well as any other snot-nosed runt on any message board, at any time, on any site. Lula -- the Big-Breasted Producer Whore -- may now leave, but instead, finds her car keys stolen. She is now stuck in this rest stop until more goals are fulfilled. Take the "knife" and explore the area.
Sabotage the black van
While exploring, there is a black van nearby. You may want to save, or simply opt to retry the shooting game when it occurs. Speaking with the night manager is pointless, although the jail-bait waiting for her omnibus outside is a little entertaining. Simalcrum has a foot-long coach she can definitely ride on ... to Orgasm-Ville. The black van is to advance the game. Sabotage its tyres and a thug will appear to gun down Lula, just like any other prostitute in a tough city.
Follow the directions for the shooting game, and keep in mind which key you have for right and left, since that's the only way to dodge damage. If you played Time Crisis (any and all five games so far), dodging is the only way to avoid being shot in the shooting gallery. Attack the badguy when his gun clicks empty and never at any other time. Hit detection is poor and the wavering aim (from Killer 7) makes this mini-game tougher than the other mini-game. You can always retry and you have infinite ammunition.
Leave for
Get back to the Chevy and meet the Thelma and Louise wannabe Gina by venturing into the diner. This will result in a police chase and a second shoot-out. This shoot-out is different since Lula will now have a handgun (infinite ammo). However, she can only fire six times before she needs to reload.Reloading can be done in cover or out of cover. The odds here are unfavourable
since there are two enemies. Kill both policemen and clear the area.
Crucial Quest Items
Knife near the gasoline station
Area 5 -
Game Goals
* Find and contact Schreiber
* Look for clues and confer with Schreiber
* Go to Wong's and avail him of his services
* Save Schreiber from kidnappers
Find and contact Schreiber
To make things short, Schreiber is in house number 31. Ring the door bell and Lula will find that Schreiber is hard of hearing. To get Schreiber's attention, throwing something at the window will draw attention. If you did not take the "tomatoes" from Hamett's studio in the previous area, there is a pile of "tomatoes" in the alley next to the parking structure. Do you see the cow-painted truck inside the car park? There is a waste bin with "tomatoes" on street level just outside the car park nearby. Take the item and head back to the point of interest Schreiber's window. You can throw a few tomatoes at the window and that will destroy it.
The mini-game here is not as pressuring as the shoot-out, but it can be annoying if you have not played a Tiger Woods PGA game or a Kirby Golf game. Basically, aim the cursor above the window and hold the LMB until the power bar fills to maximum (or near maximum) then release. The tomato will be thrown at that power percentage at the spot you aim at. Naturally, the flight path is parabolic, so you need to experiment for the best result. Failing simply nets you a retry. This mini-game is preferable to the shoot-outs later. Land three hits on the window and a cut-scene will occur. Take the crucial item "Schreiber apartment key" and head inside.
Explore the home's two lower floors for the following crucial items (some may not appear until after Schreiber tells her story): the "hearing aid" in the refrigerator, the "Mount Rushmore photo" at the bottom of the stairs to the attic (second floor), and the "Western town photo" near the kitchen entrance (first floor). Speaking with Schreiber will reveal who she is to the triplets you've been trying to rescue, but only if you equip the "hearing aid" and use it on Schreiber. After the lengthy boo-hoo bullshit, you may want to save, since you can always recall the story through the dialogue.
Look for clues and confer with Schreiber
After getting
the story about the Schreiber family, locate the crucial items "
Go to Wong's and avail him of his services
After Schreiber reveals all she knows about the two photos, ask about Wong's phone number. Get the number and use the phone on the first floor to call Mr. Wong. This will unlock the store so you can go inside. Make sure you don't Wing the Wong number while you're at it. Do ring the service bell at the counter and after speaking with Wong using the "Rushmore photo" and "Western town photo", use the "Rushmore photo" on the glasses on the counter. This will trigger the last goal.
Save Schreiber from kidnappers
Simply head back to Schreiber and talk with her to clear this area.
Crucial Quest Items
Tomatoes (second time) near the smoke shop's alley
Schreiber's apartment key (after mini-game)
Western photo in Schreiber's home
Hearing aid in Schreiber's refrigerator
Area 6 -
Game Goals
* Investigate the
spot shown in the
* Get the object
from
* Confer with Gina (Lula's new flesh toy)
Investigate the spot shown
in the Mount Rushmore photo Incredibly, the weather
is surprisingly accurate for
attempt to operate the only working optiscope near it. You need quarters to operate it, but no change handy. Note to Lula -- you make $$$ from porn films, fill ash tray with coins. But then, you're not terribly smart like simalcrum are you? Simalcrum doesn't blame you either. Convertibles are easily
vandalised. To get the needed change to use the optiscope, investigate the money jar on the gift shop counter (look at it to start the dialogue thread). Lula has two options to get her change -- call Dusty (the dog) and take the crucial item "dog tag" and use it on the money jar or alternately, sell the crucial item "Magazine Juice Issue #2". No matter which solution is used, the crucial item "American quarter" is earned. Use this on the opticsope near the gift shop to clear this goal.
Get the object from
Having found what the spot is, speak with the gift shop owner about shooting and catapults. The solution now is obvious (the copulating couple at the visitors' center gives you the clue if they are spoken to), speak with Gina and the gift shop owner. If you wandered into the visitors' center, go right ahead and break the second optiscope there to create a spot for the catapult.
After conferring with Gina and the gift shop guy, the catapult is inside the flaming pink car in the car park. take the "knife" and open the trunk for the crucial item "catapult". Take it to the visitors' center and use it on the broken optiscope stand. The target is easily shown on the screen. Aim high (to counter the parabolic trajectory) and adjust your aim a little off to the right from the target arrow's point to get the target. Like the mini-game previously, this game lets you retry infinite times. Shoot when the power meter is between 95 and 100 percent and you should be fine. Three hits on the target and you succeed.
Take the crucial item "first doll" and talk with Gina.
Confer with Gina (Lula's new flesh toy)
After showing the "first doll" to Gina, speak with her about the "western town photo". Ask the gift shop owner about the "western town photo" and he will refuse to speak with Lula. Ask Gina to do it (just talk, no items equipped) and once this is done, you clear this area.
Crucial Quest Items
Dog Tag from Dusty (successful conversation)
American Quarter from trading or tricking the gift shop
Catapult from the flaming pink poofta sport coupe
First Doll from the mini-game
Area 7 - Colorado Creek
Game Goals
* Talk to the crew and cast about the triplets
* Find Gina and Lynch
* Enter the Church
* Enter the director's trailer
* Recruit Gina's assistance
* Get the doll and confer with Gina
Talk to the cast and crew
There are several NPCs around the saloon and the around the whole town. Most of them are clustered near the saloon and the tents nearby. None of the trailers are accessible game-wise, so all the people are around this bloody little gulch. After speaking with all the NPCs (or enough of them - make sure to include the talking monkey on the bar, the losers on the rigging, and the actors near the tents), the chat threads will direct you into finding Gina and Lynch.
Find Gina and Lynch plus enter the church
These two goals are fairly the same. After the assistant in the saloon reveals Lynch and Gina headed off for some private fun time, head out the saloon, turn left and locate a crucial item "battery powered tool" near the tool shed outside. Take the "battery powered tool" and use it on the power-strip behind the nude bartender. Enter the church using the "battery powered tool" on the doors and speak with the copulating couple. A crucial item "plate trailer key" will be dropped on the ground after this talk.
Enter the director's trailer
Take the key and
enter the director's trailer. This trailer is found by following the pompous
blue signs set up all over the map. Follow the arrows to the director and enter
the trailer using the key. Get the crucial item "
Recruit and confer with Gina
Locate Gina at
the saloon entrance and recruit her into helping recreate the scene in the
"Western Town Photo". Use the "
Crucial Quest Items
Plate Trailer Key from Lynch (successful conversation)
Second Doll from the the monkey at the church
Area 8 - Beauty Farm
Game Goals
* Enter the building and get information
* Explore the pool locker
* Explore the Operating Room
Enter the building and get information
The door to the building is closed and locked. Speak with Chrissy to find out that the door operates using a motion sensor. Find the fuse box on the building's side, fix it (an easy choice) and examine the motion sensor. Move Lula towards the car park and the door will open. Turn back and the doors
close. This opens new threads with Gina and Chrissy about having someone stand in a spot to trigger the doors.
Enter the building when one of the girls is holding the door open. Once this happens the door will always be open. Speak with the receptionist and follow through the thread until it ends. This completes this goal.
Explore the pool locker
Go to the wading pool and check out the locker there. You may want to save the game here as there is another game-stopping bug, but one that forces you to manually terminate the game.
Save the game, there is a possbiility of freezing here.
Speak to the janitor and the baroness (note -- not Cobra affiliated). You should move Lula to the janitor and speak to him from the NPC's right side or the game may freeze. Talk to the baroness and ask about her bikini. Go behind the baroness and undo the bikini's clasp to make those noble boobs show themselves for the commoners (yum-yum -- simalcrum can frost those puppies with good cream). With the janitor distracted, quickly move near the heater the janitor was fixing and take the crucial item "screwdriver". Once this is done, the two NPCs go back to their routine.
Use the "screwdriver" on the pool locker to get the crucial item "third doll".
Explore the Operating Room
Use the "third doll" on Chrissy and Gina. The thread will show that the receptionist has left (presumably to have sex with the electrician -- simalcrum is not into MILF). This leaves the desk open to exploration. Take the crucial item "OP key" from the receptionist's desk and head upstairs to the second floor. The other rooms are non-story. Opening the door to the operating room will clear this area.
Note if this option did not appear before, Lula needs to check out the operating room door beforehand to get this goal. Only afterwards may she get the relevant threads to get the "OP key".
Crucial Quest Items
Screwdriver from the tool tray at the pool
Third Doll from the pool locker
OP Key from the receptionist's key rack
Area 9 -
Game Goals
* Kill to live another day
The game now auto-saves a file at the start of each of the shooting
gallery mini-games (there are five), labelled
Stage 1 - Lula uses the knife. Out-shoot two kidnappers and avoid shooting the civilian cut-outs.
Stage 2 - Gun action. Kill both policemen and avoid shooting the civilian cut- outs.
Stage 3 -Gun action. Kill both gunmen and the skeleton cut-out (the 'red-devil' from the instructions). Note that the civilian cut-outs are still present. Once both the armed enemies are dead, you can simply reload in the open and destroy the skeleton cut-out.
Stage 4 - Gun action. Kill both gunmen and the skeleton cut-out (the 'red-devil' from the instructions). Once both the armed enemies are dead, you can simply reload in the open and destroy the skeleton cut-out. Both gunmen always seem to show up on the right side (near the tree).
Stage 5 - Gun action. Kill all three badguys. This is hard since the addition of a third firing enemy increases the chance of Lula getting hit. For sure, take out the two blue enemies (eight hits each) on the gallery's top and right first. The right enemy is easier to see, since you can see him pop in and out while Lula is under cover. You can also see the top enemy do the same, but it depends on your game's resolution. The green "boss" enemy is tougher (ten hits) but it's the fact that three enemies are firing that will make this stage the toughest of the shoot-outs. Beat all five shoot-outs to clear this area and the game.
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